Caleb's birth day

We arrived at the hospital at 7:30am on Friday, October 26th. After the Pitocin was started and my water was broken, I spent time visiting with family while the contractions strengthened. By about noon, I was ready for the epidural. And by 1:30, it was time to push! The nurse noticed that Caleb's heart rate was dropping, so she decided that I should stop pushing until the doctor came back to the room. Once the doctor returned, it only took a couple more good pushes. Caleb Drew was born at 2:20pm. He weighed 6lbs, 13 oz and was 19.5" long.

Brad and I had some time to hold Caleb and bond with him before he was taken to the nursery. A while later, a neonatologist came to our room. He had examined Caleb and told us about several things he had observed that made him "suspicious of Down Syndrome" and tests would be done to confirm the diagnosis. Over the course of the next few hours, we tried our best to begin processing the news. Caleb spent much of that time in the nursery having additional tests done. Later that evening, another neonatologist came to talk to us. He, too, was suspicious of Down Syndrome and told us about a couple other issues that had bern discovered. Caleb had a patent ductus arteriosus (PDA) and a complete AV canal. See the links below, if you'd like to learn more.

Patent Ductus Arteriosus
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/pda/

Atrioventricular Canal
http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/a/avsd/

We were told that he would need surgery in 3-6 months to repair the AV canal. And as for that day, Caleb needed to be taken to the NICU at a nearby hospital. Brad and I were able to go into the nursery and hold Caleb for a few minutes before he was transported. Shortly before 11:00pm, Brad and Caleb went to the other hospital. My mom stayed with me, and Brad came back to be with us at about 1:00am. I tried to get some sleep, but I spent most of the night thanking God for blessing us with our son, praying for Caleb's health, and also grieving the "loss" of what we expected that day and our future to look like.

The following day, I told a good friend that Caleb's birth day was both the best and worst day of my life. I'm now two months removed from that day, and I don't know if I still feel that the day carries those two extremes. It's still very difficult and emotional to think about the details of the day (many of which I journaled about but am choosing not to share publicly), but I hope and pray that it will continue to get easier. I want every future October 26th to be filled with celebration, and I'm sure my precious little man will make sure of that.